


to feel

by asuiah



Series: empathy (is a cage) [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bloodline Uzumaki Naruto, But not chakra chains, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Freestyle writing, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'll add tags as I go along, Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit, M/M, Only female Uzumaki get those in this story, Out of Character, Romance, Saurtobi will be more involved in Naruto's life, Smart Uzumaki Naruto, Strong Uzumaki Naruto, Surprise Bloodline, Uzumaki Clan Bloodline, some short chapters, sorta slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 13:03:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15931001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asuiah/pseuds/asuiah
Summary: There’s something different about Uzumaki Naruto, and it’s always been this way. The reason lays deep beneath his skin, has been there for as long as he could remember, aware of it as much as he is aware of the beat of his heart. It came and went and sometimes it was overwhelming, like he is drowning in a strange pressure, and sometimes it crept up on him, hidden behind the thrum of his heartbeat, lingering underneath the sound of his voice.Other times, it is still, silent, and sometimes he forgets that it exists.(But it will not sit still for much longer.)





	to feel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [etsugai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/etsugai/gifts).



(The kids on the other side of the room are smiling. The _thing_ pulls against the air, searching for something, and makes contact. A smile pulls at his mouth, but in his reflection, all there is... is imitation.)

 

There’s something different about Uzumaki Naruto, and he’s known that for a long time. The reason lays deep beneath his skin, has been there for as long as he could remember, aware of it as much as he is aware of the beat of his heart. It came and went and sometimes it was overwhelming, like he is drowning in a strange pressure, and sometimes it crept up on him, hidden behind the thrum of his heartbeat, lingering underneath the sound of his voice.

It is a feeling – something he can’t put a name to yet, but it waits inside of him, thrums rhythmically to a melody lost to his ears.

It was easy to ignore in the beginning, when he is too young to walk steadily on two feet, clueless to the world beyond the red front door of the orphanage. But then he’d noticed the looks he’d get from adults in comparison to other children, and the pressure grew, along with a new feeling that festered inside of him, a simmering, an unrest in his bones. It felt like each glare weighed a ton, grating at his nerves, piercing his insides, and a sort of understanding within him grew, but along with it, exhaustion. It always left him feeling upset, on the verge of tears and nothing seemed to calm him other than a soak in the bath – however rarely he was allowed such a privilege, and this left him agitated, unfocused, restless like the waves of the ocean.

But then, everything changes. The first time he wonders outside, he’s alone. He’s lost in the crowd.

Everything is bright, colourful and active in every way the orphanage wasn’t. There are people - more than he’d ever seen in his life - and slowly, they start to take notice of him. Smiles and laughter melt into strained expressions, glares he’d become familiar with, spiteful curls of the mouth. Mothers pull their children away and out of view. And through it all, the thing inside him is screaming, loud and painful and right in his head. A man spits at his feet, and with it comes a sense of _wrongness_. “ _Hell-spawn_ ,” he hisses, voice like venom, mouth frothing like a wild dog. 

His heartbeat is like a roar in his ears, his eyes blurry with tears, “I–I... don’t u-under–”

“ _Leave!_ ” He yells viciously, and Naruto—

… is screaming alongside the thing inside of him and the world spins— he feels unbalanced and alone and the pressure inside of him is bursting at the seams, and he’s collapsing against some unknown weight that won’t let him _breathe_ _—_

(When he wakes up there’s an old man _smiling_ at him and he bursts into tears.)

 

He learns that the old man is the village’s leader, the Hokage. He _smiles_ at Naruto, _pats_ the top of his head, talks to him with warmth in his tone, and it makes the thing under his skin hum, and it sounds, it _feels_ a little sad, a little regretful, but there’s this strange weightlessness to it, something much lighter, something much more hopeful. It fills Naruto’s insides, and he’s never felt so warm, and it feels _good_.

He visits every week on a Wednesday, and he makes the dull grey days in the orphanage just a little brighter. The old man tells him stories– of chakra, of ninja, of the four Hokage on the mountain, of the three sannin. And Naruto listens with rapt attention, like if he forgets one word it’ll all disappear, and it make the old man smile just a little bit wider. It’s familiar, it’s routine—

—until one day, it’s not. The Hokage takes him outside, and they walk until structures disappear, until the stone pathway fades into green, shows him something he’d called a forest, watches him marvel at nature - everything's so green, magnificent and wild- and nothing like the orphanage. Naruto feels at ease, peaceful, the most balanced he’d felt, ever. It is as if he’d been stuck behind a shroud of mist all this time, like his brain had been clouded by– something. Something exhausting and suffocating, because he’d never felt so alive, so at ease and able to focus. And that feeling– the one under his skin– _sung_ and _danced_ with something that was so much more than Naruto had ever felt, something that felt like it was _his own_ , something like _joy_. 

(And he could feel something else, something much more foreign emerging from the ground, from the atmosphere, the trees, the _air_ — and he felt it grasp him, merge with him, and then it was like— “I can feel everything,” he breathed in wonder, swaying in time with the trees, with the wind, and he felt the old man grasp his hand and squeeze.)

He watches the trees shudder against the warm summer breeze. The flowers dance under the sun, in tune with the thing under his skin, and for once he can hear the melody they resonate to. The birds are singing overhead, a pleasant thrill to his ears. The sky is so _blue_.

He glances to the old man, the Hokage on his left. There’s a knowing in his eyes, in his smile.

(And despite it all, Naruto finds someone precious.)

The Hokage gives him his own apartment the next day.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I always tend to do short chapters in the introduction... whoops.
> 
> This is honestly just for fun and to develop my writing... that being said, if you see my writing style go wonky or come across a really weird chapter where the character's actions don't make sense, it's because writing is my outlet when I'm over emotional and don't worry it'll be fixed when I'm over it. Just a warning.


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